New Beginnings: A Gentle Approach to Your Mental Health in the New Year

Erin Bratsky

January 2024

There's something both exciting and daunting about opening a fresh planner in January. Those empty pages represent endless possibilities, but they can also stir up pressure to somehow transform ourselves overnight. Just yesterday, a friend of mine perfectly captured what many of us are feeling: "Everyone else seems to have these amazing goals and plans, while I'm still trying to find my rhythm after the holidays."

Moving Beyond "New Year, New Me"

In therapy, I often hear variations of the same theme this time of year. People share their hopes for dramatic change, while simultaneously expressing exhaustion from the holiday season they've just navigated. It's like we're expected to sprint into January when many of us are still processing December.

Here's what I've learned both personally and professionally: meaningful change doesn't require a complete overhaul of who you are. Think about the most important changes you've made in your life – they probably didn't happen because of a dramatic New Year's resolution. They likely occurred through small, consistent steps that aligned with what truly mattered to you.

Understanding the Fresh Start Effect (And Making It Work For You)

That surge of motivation you feel when the calendar turns? Scientists call it the "fresh start effect," and I see it in action every January. It's that energy that makes us want to reorganize our entire homes or commit to daily 5 AM workouts. While this motivation can be powerful, I've noticed how quickly it can fade when we try to change too much at once.

Instead, let's talk about working with this natural momentum in a way that actually serves us:

Values Over Resolutions: A Different Approach

In my sessions, I often invite clients to explore these questions:

• What would make your daily life feel more fulfilling?
• Which small changes would have the biggest impact on your wellbeing?
• What's one tiny step you could take today?

For example, rather than setting a rigid goal to "exercise every day,"  focus on finding ways to move that brings you joy. Start with five-minute dance breaks while making dinner. Small? Yes. Sustainable and mood-lifting? Absolutely.

Making Peace with Progress

Let me share something I've observed over years of practice: the clients who make the most meaningful changes aren't the ones with the most ambitious goals. They're the ones who learn to be consistent and compassionate with themselves.

Some practical approaches I've seen work:

• Starting with changes so small they feel almost too easy
• Adding new habits before trying to break old ones
• Celebrating progress, no matter how modest it might seem
• Treating setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures

When the New Year Brings Up Old Feelings

Recently, a client told me, "Everyone keeps asking about my New Year's resolutions, and it's bringing up all my feelings of not being enough." If you're experiencing similar thoughts, you're not alone. The pressure to transform ourselves can stir up complex emotions about who we are and where we're going.

Moving Forward, Together

In my practice, I've witnessed countless versions of what positive change can look like. For some, it's grand achievements. For others, it's learning to be gentler with themselves or finding small ways to honor their needs each day. There's no single "right" way to grow.

Remember, January 1st is just another day. You get to decide what change looks like for you, and you don't have to figure it out alone. Whether you're feeling motivated to make changes or just trying to find your footing in the new year, there's space for you exactly as you are.

Here's to a year of authentic growth, self-compassion, and moving toward what matters – one small step at a time.

If you're looking for support in navigating these changes or just want someone to talk to about what this year might look like for you, we're here. Our team at Brighter Sky Counseling specializes in helping people find their own path forward. Reach out today to schedule a session and start your journey with support.