Finding Peace in the Holiday Season: A Guide to Mental Health and Self-Care

Erin Bratsky

December 2023

Let's be real—the holidays aren't always the picture-perfect moments we see in those heartwarming commercials. Between the twinkling lights and festive music, many of us are juggling a complex mix of emotions, from joy to stress, and sometimes even sadness. And you know what? That's completely normal.

As we dive into this holiday season, I want to have an honest conversation about taking care of ourselves during what can be both the most wonderful and most challenging time of the year. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by endless social obligations, dealing with grief, or just trying to navigate family dynamics, you're not alone in these feelings.

Understanding Holiday Stress: It's More Common Than You Think

Here's something that might surprise you: according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, about 64% of people with mental health conditions say their symptoms worsen during the holidays. But even if you don't have a diagnosed condition, the "holiday blues" can affect anyone. Think of it as your emotional response to a season that often demands more from us than we might have to give.

Common signs you might be experiencing holiday stress include:

- Feeling more tired than usual (even after that third cup of coffee)

- Finding yourself irritable or short-tempered

- Experiencing anxiety about upcoming events or family gatherings

- Having trouble sleeping, even though you're exhausted

- Feeling lonely, even in a room full of people

Practical Steps for Holiday Self-Care

Let's talk about some real, doable ways to take care of yourself this season:

1. Set Realistic Expectations (And Yes, That Means Learning to Say No)

You don't have to attend every holiday party or bake cookies for the entire neighborhood. It's okay to pick and choose what truly matters to you. Remember, "no" is a complete sentence, and setting boundaries is an act of self-care, not selfishness.

2. Create Moments of Peace

Find small ways to create quiet moments in your day. Maybe it's enjoying your morning coffee in silence before the house wakes up, or taking a quick walk around the block when family gatherings get overwhelming. These little breaks can be lifesavers for your mental health.

3. Honor Your Feelings

If you're grieving or feeling down, don't feel pressured to "get into the holiday spirit." Your feelings are valid, whatever they may be. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is simply acknowledging how we feel without judgment.

4. Stay Connected (But On Your Terms)

While isolation isn't helpful, neither is social overwhelm. Find a balance that works for you. Maybe that means having coffee with one close friend instead of attending a large gathering, or scheduling regular video calls with loved ones who live far away.

When the Holidays Feel Heavy

If you're finding that the holiday season is particularly challenging, here are some gentle reminders:

- It's okay to modify traditions or create new ones that better serve your mental health

- You don't have to spend money you don't have to make others happy

- Taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's necessary

- Professional support is always available if you need it

Remember, the holidays are just one season of many, and like all seasons, they will pass. What matters most is taking care of yourself along the way.

A Final Note

As we navigate this holiday season together, remember that there's no "right" way to feel or celebrate. Whether you're feeling joyful, stressed, or somewhere in between, your experience is valid. The best gift you can give yourself this season is permission to take care of your mental health in whatever way works best for you.

If you're struggling, please know that you're not alone, and help is always available. Whether that's reaching out to a friend, family member, or professional counselor, taking that first step toward support is an act of courage and self-care.

Here's to finding moments of peace and genuine joy this holiday season, whatever that looks like for you.